Confessions of a Fundoo Strategist

This article is also posted at Express Tribune.

I am what some of you call a Fundoo. A Fundoo strategist to be precise. I was recruited in secret by a group of people calling themselves the Tehreek-e-Nifaaz-e-Duniya-e-Jahaane-Musalmaniya Pakistan, a top secret group made of representatives from different religious parties, banned outfits, sympathisers and financiers.

Our group operates like a small company, with an established mission (evident from our name) and a chain of command: a nigraane nizameen (board of directors), a markaze tazobarkar (core strategy group) and a majmuahe teelibaaz (um...general workers). I am the naib chaalbaaz (deputy strategist), recently promoted and reporting to the emir chaalbaaz (chief of strategy) who reports directly to the board of directors.

We've been operating since long and our results are beginning to show. Our latest achievement is something we have been fighting very hard for: Total Fear. No war is won by physical force alone, one has to have a psychological advantage - achieve the mental victory, the rest will be easier. After years of hard work, we have achieved this important milestone. All the Libboos (yes, we also have a word for you so-called liberals and moderates) are now really really afraid, bringing us closer to our mission.

We achieved this through a simple, two-pronged strategy: a Libboo hit-list, coupled with a coordinated Fundoo mobilisation.
You look confused. Let me explain.

The first part of our strategy is a Libboo hit-list comprising of people from various walks of life. This was a long list (there are too many libboos in this country if you ask me) but we shortened it considerably by focusing on those who are prominent, outspoken and courageous: politicians, writers, journalists, lawyers. Our research tells us prominent single murders have more impact, far more than multiple killings through suicide bombs - yes really, trust me we keep checking this theory regularly during our monthly Suicide For Dummies course (this is a very popular course by the way, enrolment is free so we have to have many sessions running at one time, but let's discuss that later). When I say more impact, I mean that when we tick off someone on the hit-list, we are able to more strongly reinforce the belief that those who speak out against us will be silenced, resulting in lesser voices. This is the key pillar of our strategy.

To achieve the second part of our strategy, more coordinated and forceful fundoo voice, we capitalised on the media boom. Over the last few years not only have we set up a few channels, we have also arranged for time-slots on regular channels for our broadcasts and also given numerous regular jobs to many of our teelibaaz. This was actually much easier than we initially thought - you see, we were expecting successive governments to have some media policies or rules, or channels to have some qualification criteria for political and religious commenting and anchoring, but thankfully all they care about is money and ratings, which makes our task a whole lot easier.

So our two-pronged strategy works in a cycle. Our media teelibaaz are mobilised to support our cause - contrary to what most people think, we do believe in empowerment, teelibaaz are free to use their imagination, be it encouraging Ahmadi murders, issuing fatwas in talk-shows, justifying suicide bombers, hailing hit-list killers as Ghazis, covering up our suicide practise lessons as government failures, calling any contrary opinions un-Islamic, or proving rising potato prices to be American/Jewish conspiracies - anything that will keep the government occupied elsewhere while reinforcing Fundoo viewpoint in the country and gaining us Fundoo recruits from the frustrated citizenry. Gotta admit, works like a charm.

We are very close to realising our mission: we will establish Islamic law in the country soon...don't ask me to elaborate on that right now, that is still work in progress - so far our board of directors have not reached consensus on what Islamic law means or even who is the true Muslim from among us - there as many points of view as our directors...but we will sort that out later.

For now, first things first. We need to gain total control and silence the common enemy: the Libboos.

Fitna Launched

The controversial movie Fitna is now out and can be found on several websites and youtube links despite massive blocking attempts by the PTA. It is an almost 20-minute movie and attempts (to an extent successfully I think) to put terror of Islam and Muslims in the minds and hearts of all who watch it.

It starts out with a recitation of some verses (with references) in the Quran followed by images of 9/11 and other bombings and acts of terror carried out by fanatics in the name of Islam, in an attempt to link the verses with these acts. It goes on to show clips of hate speeches and anti-West/anti-Jewish rhetoric of some known and unknown clerics and imams across the world, including various parts of Netherlands and Europe and more videos/newsclips of actual deeds done by Islamist extremists which reflect support for this type of hate-thinking.

The movie clearly shows the various restrictive ideologies in practice and the dismal state and treatment of women, children, gays and non-muslims in Muslim countries, and points to the rising number of Muslim immigrants in Europe who are calling for curbing Western freedoms in the West and implementing these ideologies. If various imams in Europe's mosques actually do preach the kind of hate that the movie has shown them to do, then I am not surprised with the fear of Islamization that Wilders is attempting to create in his viewers.

Personally I find it an unacceptable idea that immigrants (from anywhere) come to a society in search of a better life and then forcefully try to impose their own drastically different ideologies on the adopted society expecting it to yield and submit instead of themselves adapting to the new society! Why choose to live in the West if Western norms are so not acceptable?

This problem is not just the West's. Pakistan is also a victim of exactly the same phenomenon. Thirty years ago Pakistani society was far more tolerant and free than it is today. It was the Afghan war and the consequent influx of Afghan refugees and the Taliban and their unacceptably intolerant ideology that has brought about the dismal state of affairs that Pakistan is in today, i.e., in the heart and frontline of the war on terror. It is sickening to know that the governments of the time and also successive ones did not do enough to stop the growing menace of religious fundamentalism and extremism in the country.

Coming back to the movie, I think it should be allowed a viewing because it gives an insight to the way Islam and Muslims are being perceived today by the West and the very reasons for this as well. We cannot put the onus on Western societies to understand and accomodate us if we are not willing to face our own internal issues and deal with these - no one (and especially no one in Pakistan) can deny that religious extremism is indeed a huge problem we need to deal with, and deal with as a top priority.

It is not simply freedoms of the west but the very survival of our own society that is at stake here. We all MUST say a huge, resounding NO to extremism.
It must begin at home.

Fitna

Dutch MP Geert Wilders, known for his anti-Islamic views, has chosen the word 'Fitna' as the new title for his 15-minute, explosive anti-Islamic film to be released in March. The word fitna is Arabic and occurs a number of times in the Quran, referring to spreading malice or having malicious intent.

According to Mr Wilders, “I insisted on using a phrase that’s also found in the Koran. Islam and the Koran are my ordeal. I use the term in an inverse sense… For me the poisonous Koran is fitna.”

The 15-minute movie will apparently contain an animated cartoon of the prophet Mohammed, and some Dutch media have suggested that the end will show Wilders burning a copy of the Quran.

Fearing an international backlash against the Netherlands, the Dutch government already has instructed its embassies worldwide on how to act after the movie has been released. Security at Dutch embassies is to be increased, while Wilders has been advised to go into hiding abroad after the movie is released. Wilders is already under constant security protection since 2004 because of threats to his life due to his very vocal criticism of Islam in the wake of the murder of Dutch film director Theo Van Gogh.

The debate between provocation and freedom of expression is a very interesting one and has been ongoing for quite some time now, but the question is where do we draw the line? There is a serious need for engaging in reflection and constructive dialogue over this. In the same context, what would we call this movie, freedom of speech or fitna?